Mad Alchemy
by Aelsthla-Mental
Summary: Jumba couldn't create life, it was simply impossible. How then, did he create those experiments? One-Shot.


_**My First one-shot (unless for some reason I write another chapter). =Hope you enjoy it. If by the end you wonder what the hell I was thinking, read past the end and it will be said.**_

* * *

**Mad Alchemy**

'That's right, little organism Continue with your growing.

A large figure was staring fondly into what appeared to be a large fish bowl, within it was what seemed to be a seething mass of yellow flesh, no larger then the palm of a human hand.

Not that the figure staring at it was human. He had the right shape. But was larger, his skin a deep purple on the back and a lighter pink on the bottom. And he had four eyes, two large ones, each having a beady one next to them.

The yellow flesh did as the man asked and began to start filling the fish bowl, but almost instantaneously stopped.

'No, no! You are supposed to grow!' Turning around to see what appeared to be a science lab, albeit one that had yet to be tidied. He rushed around frantically, looking for something to save that flesh.

Finding a jar with a label in odd markings hidden in a stack of jars with different labels, he picked it up, apparently satisfied. The jar had what appeared to be a couple of drops of a shimmering green liquid.

Rushing back to the yellow flesh (accidentally upturning boxes of other strange substances, leading to more clutter and fumes starting to be emitted from the mess) he carefully let the drops drip into the flesh. The flesh turned the green of the liquid and began swelling…

Then, just as before, it stopped. Slowly, it began shrinking and fizzling, taking the self-proclaimed evil genius' hopes along with it. Not in a flash that would have been fine with a creature like Jumba, but slowly, and painfully.

Jumba would have screamed, but when he heard the door open, followed by an irritating and all-too-familiar voice, he kept it to himself.

'What is with that racket you ninny! I hope that you have completed that experiment otherwise you are merely wasting my time!'

Jumba sighed. That would be Hämsterviel, his 'lab partner'. The Gerbil-like irritant never ceased to amaze him. It would have been easy to simply stomp it flat, and be done with him. But Hämsterviel was funding the entire operation to create a 'combat-superior' life form. And considering this whole procedure was illegal, he highly doubted he could find another to help him.

Hämsterviel had the annoying habit of irritating people much bigger and stronger then him. On many occasions had Jumba had to step in to prevent his 'colleague' from being torn to pieces. Yet Hämsterviel never gave a word of thanks, or anything else for that matter, except sometimes mumbling that he could have handled it.

And here he was now; Jumba stared down at him, his large hand covering his main eyes, leaving the smaller ones to stare at him.

'Don't look down at me you big failure!' He shrieked.'

Grimacing, he used his massive hand to swipe glassware and numerous documents to the floor, roughly grabbed Hämsterviel, and put him on the bench.

'Do not manhandle me you brainless twit! You haven't managed to complete the experiment, have you?'

Jumba had nearly though he could get rid of that grimace, but not now. 'The molecules are unready for the attempt to give full control over; I can create a robotic creature, of course.'

'ANY brainless ninny can do that!' Hämsterviel narrowed his eyes. 'I thought you were more then that. You TOLD me with enough funding you could build a life form that can learn, adapt, and be invincible in battle. I've GIVEN you the money, and I want to see results to make up for your poorly-worded boasting!'

'ENOUGH!' On the verge of losing his temper, Jumba swatted Hämsterviel, the impact was enough to send Hämsterviel flying into a wall with a *bang* which echoed through the lab.

Being dazed didn't stop Hämsterviel from continuing to yell out numerous insults, each making less sense then the other.

'Well' Jumba shouted above Hämsterviel's shrill screaming, 'I suppose I do have a plan B, of course, it is even less legal then what we are currently doing…'

'Just get it done you buffoon!' Hämsterviel shouted.

Jumba gave a weak smile. 'If you insist…'

* * *

Jumba looked around, his expression showing disinterest. It was for the best here, where looking interested at anything was bound to insult someone.

He was exiting the hanger bay of a space station disguised as a lump of rock out in space. One of the "craters" in it was really an entrance to the hanger.

Naturally, Hämsterviel has colourfully refused using words that Jumba suspected didn't exist. Saying how he would have none of this. What he was doing now was one of the ultimate crimes, far more then what he had been. Punishable through all sorts of torture, of which death was the least.

That hadn't made Hämsterviel stop him of course, or giving him the money, just none of the blame.

Perhaps later Jumba would tell him how he found out about the form of energy, sorting through Hämsterviel's files and documents on somewhat shady dealings.

The hanger was typical. Nothing special about it, aside from that the ships in the hanger were rather lethal-looking and had at least 3 armaments each.

The creatures around were also odd. Look closely enough and you'd notice a pattern. It was mainly a weedy looking creature, with two hulking brutes showing the intelligence of a peanut that could be told simply by the fact they seemed to have to struggle to walk and breath at the same time. It was rather colourful too, there were ochre creatures with three arms (one from the chest) and a large horn, another appeared to be little more then a brain, but the 'stem' split into two somewhat weedy legs (the brain had two large orange brutes with sharp claws and a cannon on their shoulder).

Jumba didn't need bodyguards though. He was tough enough to take care of himself, as long as he didn't draw any attention. So he followed what appeared to be the fashion trend and kept his hand firmly on the plasma gun in the holster on his waist.

Meanwhile, his other arm was constantly in front of him, trying to keep the numerous people from ramming into him. There was a mix of people who appeared to be in a hurry and others who moved slowly, so Jumba found himself going at a shifting pace to help go through the crowd without angering anyone.

Eventually, he found himself at what appeared to be a solid steel bar counter. At least the figure behind it (a wiry but tough looking creature, with white scaly skin and cold, black eyes) was wiping a glass with a surprisingly clean rag. The other creatures kept their distance from this area, out of earshot if you whispered most likely.

'What do you want?' The creature hissed. Its face betrayed no emotion, so Jumba assumed the voice was its ordinary one.

Jumba cleared his throat. 'I am looking for the… energy unique to these parts.'

'Everyone is.' He hissed, making a noise that sounded like a mix of a cough and a gurgle, perhaps the equivalent of a laugh.

Jumba tried to laugh as well, but found himself limited to a weak grin.

'Well, I hope you have brought a lot of money, or slaves.' The reptilian eyes gleamed. 'But it appears you came alone, so you brought enough money?'

Eyeing around, Jumba discreetly handed over a dull grey card. 'This has the funds for a batch of that energy.'

The reptilian creature eyed it. 'I suppose it is, few people go for one batch though, the fact it has a price is for the days this place was old.' He raised his eyes. 'I don't recall seeing you before, and only the old customers know of it.'

'An acquaintance of mine was a customer for here.' Jumba explained. Well, it was honest at least.

'Do they have a name for your acquaintance? I'm sorry for this suspicion, but you could be someone from the Galactic Federation.'

Looks like he'd have to see the reaction, 'Hämsterviel' Jumba muttered.

A deep hiss came out of the reptile's throat. 'Oh yes, I know him…' You could almost see venom dripping down his throat. He stopped abruptly, his cold ordinary tone coming back. 'I do hope you are not like that customer. It is not in my habit to speak of previous acquaintances, but I shall be glad if he never comes here again.'

'I'll remember to tell him that.' Jumba said with a chuckle.

'Well then, here are your choices. Twisting his body down, in a way Jumba could not dream to be capable of, he came back up, revealing four clear boxes that had been hidden under the counter. Each of them was like wind if it were visible, wispy and flowing in the boxes. Each of them were a different colour. Red, green, blue, but the one in the centre caught Jumba's eye the most. It was white, and seemed little different, yet it seemed to call out to him.

The reptile noticed Jumba staring at it and promptly moved the other six boxes back. 'Strange that the right one calls out to you, most find the others to do so.'

'What?' For once, Jumba uttered only a single syllable. His attention was focused on that swirling white. It beckoned, and seemed to react to his gaze, slowly massing towards him at the edge of the box.

A loud *bang* snapped Jumba right out of it. The reptilian man had struck the counter with his scaly fist, leaving a large dent behind. Jumba noticed this and shuddered. The creature didn't seem to have the mass to cause an impact on what appeared to be solid steel, yet the rather visible dent was clear evidence.

'Well, did Hämsterviel tell you how we acquire this… energy.' A dreamy sigh came out of the reptile.

'I understand that you buy slaves, and they are never seen again, or be doing any work around here.' Jumba said simply.

'Good, well then it should be easier to explain. This Energy has been stripped of all memories, we use to use ones with memories as the power was amplified. However there became problems, such as it exploding for no apparent reason, killing clients and making a mess. There have been cases of other misfortunes happening, but explosions seem to be the major case. It seems to be if the energy has memories, it seems to do things just to spite the people who did it to them.' He sighed. 'I can't understand it myself, those hot-blooded fools. But it has become necessary for most.' His eyes glanced at the gleaming glass in his hand, his eyes twinkled from the light reflecting from it. 'You don't have to answer, but what do you plan on doing with this small amount of energy? I won't tell, but I must admit curiosity gets to me a lot'

'I plan on creating genetic experiments and infusing them with life to create an unstoppable army of biologically superior beings.' Jumba said proudly, although he had the thought to keep it to a whisper. It struck him that telling people probably wasn't the smartest idea. But his ego had to be released, he had to tell someone.

…He'd have to figure out a way to suppress that ego.

The reptile's pupils widened, as if Jumba had become a black hole and he needed to draw in all the light he could. 'Interesting… I may just have to set a private stock for something like that.' He licked his lips with a large forked tongue. 'Very well then, here's the energy. And please come back, I'm rather fascinated how it shall work out…'

* * *

'I do hope you weren't followed you large visible clumsy oaf!'

Jumba didn't even respond. He stared at Hämsterviel, but his mind was on the box held in his own, firm grip.

Slowly, every step he kept two eyes on the box and two where he was going. He walked towards the desk. He took out another fish bowl, this one filled with a purple liquid, and placed it where the last one had been on the desk.

'Now for the starting up.' Jumba murmured.

Hämsterviel was quiet, watching Jumba with interest.

A burst of what looked similar to a cartoonish electric shock, but colored maroon, covered the fish bowl. The purple liquid began solidifying, becoming a seething mass.

It expanded, agonizingly slow.

'That is the correct thing you are doing.' Jumba murmured.

No sooner did he say that, the mass stopped.

'_Now!'_ Jumba shouted in his mind, grabbing the clear box, he opened it…

Only a second later realizing, since it was a gas, that probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. Amazing how even the most intelligent beings could make stupid mistakes.

But lady luck smiled upon him, for the gas was attracted towards the mass, and was sucked in like water into a sponge.

Then the mass began expanding, not agonizingly slow, but rapidly. Not only that, but it was beginning to take shape.

First a jaw, the lower part turning white, the white spread to it's chest. Two small, tubby arms appeared after that. And finally, two rather floppy antennas with rings grew out of them sprouted from its head.

And its eyes were black, empty.

Yet any fear that the creature was dead was stopped in an instant. The creature managed a leap out of the fish bowl, looking around with the curiosity of a cat. It said nothing, but it searched around, quickly becoming lost in the piles of equipment and paper.

Jumba could only stand frozen, amazed. He had created life!

Well, almost…

The silence was broken by Hämsterviel.

'That creature doesn't seem too dangerous, you imbecile! What can that thing do, anyway!? I hired you to create a weapon, not a cute pet!'

Jumba didn't say anything, but inwardly he chuckled. He turned to Hämsterviel. _'Look at him, he may not admit it. But he is very interested. I can see that greed.'_ He chuckled, much to the confusion of Hämsterviel. _'He doesn't seem to grasp what we, no, __**I**__ could become. Greed? I could become so very much more, beyond anything the galaxy has seen!'_

The purple creature, perhaps having satisfied it's curiosity, had come over to Jumba. The blank eyes stared at him, causing an involuntary shudder, and dark thoughts to creep in. _What am I doing? This isn't me. I want to prove I'm an evil genius yes, but is this going to far? Am I doing something that shouldn't be meddled with?'_

Those thoughts came, but seemed to slide away as Jumba turned away from the eyes to the rest of the creature, a while aura seemed to emanate from it. 'It may take more tries and I'll need some more money as well. But I think I'll be able to design the construct the life is housed in with abilities that will be adapted into its personality. Mark my words Hämsterviel, we shall have our army…'

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_**I'm not the biggest Lilo and Stitch fan. I think it's one of the best things to come out of Disney, but while I like a decent few things out of Disney, none of them rank too high. Anyway, the story came from a random thought months ago when I was on a trip somewhere. You can't create life, so then how the heck did Jumba do it? Aside from going through more plausible roots such as advanced genetic engineering, I thought of this random story.**_

_**So yeah, if you see problems in the story. OOC, Grammar (I'm sure there is plenty), spelling etc. and you have the time to tell me, please do so.**_

_**Anyway, have a nice day.  
**_


End file.
